Surviving the blues.

I have no way to know the early beginnings of the dogs I help. By the time I am involved there is so much life that has passed that only the dog can know what he has lived. The information that is passed along with the dog as it moved from one place to another, is often just a tiny little bit of truth. As dogs live in the moment they do not have the ability to dwell on the how’s, why’s or what for. Most folks just want to make themselves feel better about abandoning their dog. Other just don’t care and know that many rescues will not help them line their pockets by taking the left over breeding stock they have no use for. Yes there are a very small percentage of people that are not this way.  In rescue I never meet these people.

The decisions that rescues often must make are not always the one we want to make.  We want to save them all, but this is not a possibility in real life.  As we are a non-profit and funds are often just not there to help dogs.  I personally and many of my fellow rescuers have given up many thing in our own privet lives to save a dog. We put so much of our personal finances into what we do that we never have left over for ourselves. But we do it because of our love for dogs.   But the mental toll can be exhausting.  I never want to say when it is time for a life to stop. Directly or indirectly, just not having money to help a dog can be the end for the dog. To say we are full and have no open homes can be the determining factor that can end a life. Many rescues and shelters work together to help the dogs but there is a limit to all we are able to do. We share e-mail request for help to other rescue when we cannot help, we use the social media to get the word out that there is more dogs than humanly possible of helping.  Making the “no” room at the inn, a daily response. Adding to the emotional stress of knowing that on an extremely regular basis we are making the decision that may end a life.

Some want to help but have no idea the drain it can have and do not last long making this a very fluid, ever changing environment. Then if you add the folks who have their own personal agenda to why they want to be involved in rescue, can make it more difficult to help animal and keep ones sanity.  There are no books no schools that we go to and learn this. The folks that volunteer are just caring dog lovers. As the breeding show dog world call us, pet people. There is a whole area of prejudice that runs amuck through the dog world.  Dog behavior is an interpretation of what humans think is happening. Dogs cannot talk and even if they could I am not sure we would still know how to help. We mostly cannot help the human population and we can communicate. So we all have different views and beliefs of what is best. I try hard to stay in the middle of the dog world but am not successful.  Yes I have my own beliefs and try not to think mine is the correct one, it much easier to say than do. The complexity of humans and their personal beliefs likes and dislikes can make this all overwhelming. I use to think that it was about the dogs so the humans needed to check their baggage at the door of rescue before entering.  Now without the humans there cannot be a rescue.  I have to work with folks that have very different personalities and beliefs than I do.  I hate this part because I have to keep everyone happy so no one takes their toys and goes home before the job is done. The problem does not seem to get better is seems that daily there are more dogs than the day before. My fellow rescue friends are all feeling the drain as I am.

Many of us question our staying power as the vortex of rescue sucks the life from us.  We tell each other to hang in there, to stay strong, take a breath and any other words of encouragement to keep them going; as we know that when one folds that just put more on us that are left. 

I write to keep my sanity but I love to laugh and have fun writing about the chaos I live in.  As of late I am having a very difficult time to find the humors side to life. I am struggling and find that I have to just write even if it is not on the lighter side. I start a blog and then delete as I struggle with this unhappiness that is suffocating me.  I will keep my dark blog in another place and hope that writing can bring me back to a happier place.